I always look forward to āGirls Night Outā (āGNOā) itās a chance to kick up my heels; laugh with a girlfriend or the girls, and catch-up. There appears to be one giant hiccup in enjoying GNO that has become a real pet peeve of mine: the constant search by single women to meet a guy or women who are in a relationship who need to know theyāve still got it.
Generally speaking āGNOā means one or more girls make a plan with each other, we call or text each other before meeting up āWhat are you wearing?ā āWhere should we go?ā āIām running lateā all part of the build up of the āfunā evening ahead. Ah, the evening just begins when we make a toast and take our first sip of a Martini/Wine and begin to relax from our hectic day. We then begin to catch up. Well, thatās usually how it supposed to go.
But, all too many times the āGNOā becomes a time of frustration and anger, which I know I share with many women. Here is the scenario that I have experienced and that so many of you can instantly relate to.
My girlfriend and I grab two stools at the bar Iām looking at the menu and I turn to see that five minutes hasnāt passed and sheās texting some guy she recently met. This goes on throughout the evening. I let her know that her texting is getting annoying and if she is too busy Iām fine meeting up another time. She apologizes and puts down the phone at least momentarily pays attention to us. Ok, no big deal.
We begin talking again except her eyes donāt meet mine. She is less than inconspicuously scanning the room for a man. She then sayās, āDo you think more men will show upā? I reply, āI donāt knowā. I get it, this is not āGNOā instead itās āI Need to Find a Man Night Outā and sheās assuming I have the same agenda or simply to selfish to care that this is not why we were getting together.
I take another sip of my drink and try to catch-up with her life. Her eyes are wondering all over the place. Our conversation is continually interrupted with her making comments like āDid you see that guy?ā or āIām putting my purse on the seat next to me in case a cute comes inā or āletās leave soon and go to ā¦ if more guys donāt come inā.
I excuse myself to use the restroom and when I return she is talking to some guy who came in while I was gone. I squeeze back into my chair because he is standing over her and ignoring me and my seat. They are flirting and I have become the third wheel BECAUSE IāM STAYING TRUE TO GNO! He leaves her once his dinner companions have arrived. Sheās disappointed no numbers are exchanged. She goes back to texting the guy hoping he might be free soon.
She moves the conversation back to men. Iām done Iām out. Sheās pissed because Iām ready to go home. You may think Iām a bitch for not going along with her desperate attempt in securing a date. However, had she told me this was āFind a Man Night Outā I could have stayed home and watch a Housewives re-run.
The bottom-line if my girlfriend meets a guy while weāre on GNO Iām happy for her. In fact I will get out of their way to talk to both of them. But, let it happen naturally donāt make the only mission of āGNOā is to find a guy.
āGNOā has an unspoken code. Itās not about texting your lover, boyfriend or husband all night; itās not about desperately trying to meet a man; leaving your girlfriend and taking off with the guy; ignoring your girlfriend turning your back to her without trying to include her in the conversation; or talking your head off about men all night. Itās about Girls bonding with Girls and men are ancillary.
If you want to change the code then communicate with your girlfriend as to the kind of āGNOā you have in mind. Then she can decide if she wants to be your Wing Girl.
Make it an Excuse Free “GNO”!