Archive for the ‘Family & Parenting’ Category

Prevention & Gratitude Working Together Can Save Lives: An Excuse Free Case

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Plot-Cannibal-Cop-Verdict-Trial–196429351.html

The article above for me is not about the sensationalism of the so-called, ‘Plot-Cannibal-Cop’ but, the prevention of the murder, rape & kidnaping of innocent lives.

During my years working as a Crisis Intervention Specialist, Police assistance in some cases was absolutely necessary. However, growing up with irresponsible parents made me hyper-responsible. Since I was little one of my favorite sayings has been, “Lee me lone”. The result, part of my self-confidence is intrinsically connected to my ability to realize, “no one is the boss of me” and I’m not speaking about work.

The point? Although, I believe in following the Law, I do not like authority.

No matter where you live in this beautiful country law enforcement, and the Justice system need morale building and positive acknowledgement. If we want worthy individuals to serve and stay in law enforcement we must do our part to encourage them rather than blame them.

We need the media and our own conversations to be more fairly balanced. Public acknowledgement contributes to a positive work incentive to prevent crime before it happens. Do I like the idea of being policed? As I said before, “No” but, I respect that it is a necessary part of our society and we must provide positive emotional support for law enforcement not just when an officer or civil servant is killed but, when they do an outstanding job.

Thank you NYC Police Dept., FBI & Justice System for one of many examples that the system can work beginning with a keen eye for prevention. A nod, thank you or smile goes along way in law enforcements day when they mostly hear complaints and experience fear and in some cases loathing by the media and public.

Make it an Excuse Free Life!!!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 15, 2013|Category: Career, Crime, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Politics, Self Improvement, Social Media, Stress No Comments »

Happy Women’s Day: Ten Reasons Why it’s Fabulous to Be a Woman

1. Prevention: We get the nuiances and details in life that lead to bigger consequences.

2. We are nuturing which supports men going out and fulfilling their dreams as a provider

3. We give the gift of life

4. We manage people in a decentralized style i.e. democratic thereby, creating a team effort rather than a Dictatorship leading to higher productivity and overall higher job satisfaction

5. We have beautiful bodies

6. We live longer

7. We have the freedom to express who we are through fashions, colors, designs. Which also means we can easily change our appearance allowing us to live out various fantasies and role play

8. There is nothing sweeter than a Mother’s love

9. We believe in communicating thereby problem solving occurs rather than lingering anger.

10. We have the ability to multi-task raising children, while running businesses and our home

Make it an Excuse Free Women’s Day!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 8, 2013|Category: Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Parenting, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement, Women No Comments »

Men the 10 Valentine Day Do’s

1. Say, “Happy Valentine’s” before your day starts and your
distracted plus it will start her/his day off happy you remembered.

2. Do something even if you hate the day. Women hate when other women ask,
“What he did he do for you?” And the answer is “Nothing”.

3. If you don’t have the money or time to shop. Do Get a blank Valentine’s Card and
write how you feel about her/him. Don’t just sign a card that say’s it for you.

4. Do nurture your relationship if you’ve been together for a while. Even if in recent years
and you’ve both stopped celebrating. It’s never to late to rekindle the romance.

5. If you forget don’t tell her. Do be spontaneous tell to get dressed take her to a
shopping center and buy something she see’s in the window. Then find a restaurant
near by.

6. Do give her/him a gift card to a store she likes if you know she doesn’t like when you
shop for her. She’s not rejecting you just your taste in gifts.

7. Do tell the kids to behave and do their chores that day so she/he can relax. Make sure
you do the dishes.

8. If you like the woman/man but, the relationship is too new then take them to lunch and
skip dinner. You’ve acknowledged you like them without the pressure.

9. Do return their call, email or text asap. Many people feel vulnerable, hurt or confused
when they don’t hear back on this day even though that’s not your intention.

10. Do PDA on this day even if it’s not your usual. It never feels good to see other
couples, walking arm & arm, or having a sweet kiss & your guy is a stick in the mud.

Make it an Excuse Free Valentine’s Day!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on February 13, 2013|Category: Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Holidays, Love & Relationships, Self Help, Self Improvement, Sex No Comments »

The Most Precious Gift to Your Child at the Holidays: QUALITY TIME

Time a four-letter word. Looks so simple. Sounds so simple. Yet, how many Excuses do you make to spend quality time with your child?

I did not spend a lot of physical time with my father growing up. By the time I was eighteen he died during my midterms in my first semester of college. There was no opportunity to say, “goodbye”.

The last time I spoke with him I was at school begging the Administration to use their phone to call New York. I was in California and had no money to use the payphone to call the hospital long distance. “My father is dying in New York”. I pleaded crying, “Let me use the phone”.

That would be my last conversation with him standing in front of a group of strangers while I listened to my father crying begging “God” to release him from his pain. It was as if lightening struck me. My father had always been an Atheist; unusual at the time for a Black man but conformity was not his nature.

As a young girl my father, Stacy Seppinni made sure that every visit with me was focused on me. I quite often sat on his lap until he would request for me to show him my latest dance moves. I played with his glasses, watch and hands. He allowed me to be close to him. He made sure that my time with him was spent without the interruption of my three older brothers. Our time was quality time.

While in prison (from the time I was two until just before my seventh birthday) he wrote me letters, called, wrote me a poem for each one of my Birthdays and sent gifts other prisoners made just for me– a portrait of me, hand carved jewelry boxes with my name and leather goods were just a few of the items.

We spent our time fishing on Sunday’s when I was 7-8 years old. He’d make me Cream of Wheat (my favorite at the time) or Oatmeal at 4 AM in morning. This was the time he used to sit and read the paper and talk to me about the happenings at my school. On weekends when he was home we went to the Metropolitan Museum in New York. We’d stop in front of his favorite paintings discussing the artist. He enjoyed taking me to the park. He’d sit and read the paper while watching me play. I especially enjoyed when he took me to Central Park to see Patty the Monkey.

He loved to read so I was lucky to be around all of his books, which I kept for years because they were a part of him. Most of all he held my hand wherever we went and took great pride in having a little girl. I loved the way he smelled so any chance of cuddling next to him when lied down (when sober) was heaven as he put his arm around me as he watched T.V. Often he would fall asleep during the program gently I would open his eyes and announce “Poppy your a sleep!”. “No, Baby” he would say, “I’m just resting my eyes”.

When my mother moved my brothers and I to California my father decided to stay in New York. I spent years not living with my father but, to me he was there everyday. It was because we spoke almost every day on the phone. Throughout my life he took every collect call from me especially when I cried because I missed him or simply needed to tell someone how I really felt about my world–other kids, the move to California, my interests and so forth.

My father was a terrible man domestic violence, murder, gambling, drug addiction, extreme violent episodes with my brothers and so on…

Now as an adult I realize he gave me one of the greatest gifts a child can receive he created quality time with me. He was fully engaged in creating a parent – child intimacy and trust between us. He took the time to share the best part of him. He did this throughout his years of absence through his endless conversations with me ending all with “I love you with all my heart”. Our quality of time became part of the foundation of how I love and chose to be loved.

If we can all learn in times of tragedy as in the loss of twenty children in Sandy Hook school it is not only to remember to hug your child but, to spend quality time, listen well and express your love. Guilt and regret are harder to live with than the process of grief and loss. Guilt and regret lead to a lifetime of self-hatred, feelings of failure and a refusal to forgive oneself.

It’s been many years since my father passed and yet, I think of him daily. I still speak to him daily in my mind. He visits me in my dreams when I accomplish something I’m truly passionate about letting me know he is still with me and therefore I am never alone. My father continues to live on in my heart.

As I tell him all the time “Dad, Pop please behave yourself in hell, stop womanizing, put down the bottle, and be nice to others. You need to behave so that you can meet me in heaven when it’s my time to go”.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on December 16, 2012|Category: Books, Crisis, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Grief & Loss, Holidays, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Parenting, Self Improvement No Comments »