Archive for the ‘Stress’ Category

Prevention & Gratitude Working Together Can Save Lives: An Excuse Free Case

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Plot-Cannibal-Cop-Verdict-Trial–196429351.html

The article above for me is not about the sensationalism of the so-called, ‘Plot-Cannibal-Cop’ but, the prevention of the murder, rape & kidnaping of innocent lives.

During my years working as a Crisis Intervention Specialist, Police assistance in some cases was absolutely necessary. However, growing up with irresponsible parents made me hyper-responsible. Since I was little one of my favorite sayings has been, “Lee me lone”. The result, part of my self-confidence is intrinsically connected to my ability to realize, “no one is the boss of me” and I’m not speaking about work.

The point? Although, I believe in following the Law, I do not like authority.

No matter where you live in this beautiful country law enforcement, and the Justice system need morale building and positive acknowledgement. If we want worthy individuals to serve and stay in law enforcement we must do our part to encourage them rather than blame them.

We need the media and our own conversations to be more fairly balanced. Public acknowledgement contributes to a positive work incentive to prevent crime before it happens. Do I like the idea of being policed? As I said before, “No” but, I respect that it is a necessary part of our society and we must provide positive emotional support for law enforcement not just when an officer or civil servant is killed but, when they do an outstanding job.

Thank you NYC Police Dept., FBI & Justice System for one of many examples that the system can work beginning with a keen eye for prevention. A nod, thank you or smile goes along way in law enforcements day when they mostly hear complaints and experience fear and in some cases loathing by the media and public.

Make it an Excuse Free Life!!!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 15, 2013|Category: Career, Crime, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Politics, Self Improvement, Social Media, Stress No Comments »

Girls Night Out Means Girls Night Out!

I always look forward to “Girls Night Out” (“GNO”) it’s a chance to kick up my heels; laugh with a girlfriend or the girls, and catch-up. There appears to be one giant hiccup in enjoying GNO that has become a real pet peeve of mine: the constant search by single women to meet a guy or women who are in a relationship who need to know they’ve still got it.

Generally speaking “GNO” means one or more girls make a plan with each other, we call or text each other before meeting up “What are you wearing?” “Where should we go?” “I’m running late” all part of the build up of the “fun” evening ahead. Ah, the evening just begins when we make a toast and take our first sip of a Martini/Wine and begin to relax from our hectic day. We then begin to catch up. Well, that’s usually how it supposed to go.

But, all too many times the “GNO” becomes a time of frustration and anger, which I know I share with many women. Here is the scenario that I have experienced and that so many of you can instantly relate to.

My girlfriend and I grab two stools at the bar I’m looking at the menu and I turn to see that five minutes hasn’t passed and she’s texting some guy she recently met. This goes on throughout the evening. I let her know that her texting is getting annoying and if she is too busy I’m fine meeting up another time. She apologizes and puts down the phone at least momentarily pays attention to us. Ok, no big deal.

We begin talking again except her eyes don’t meet mine. She is less than inconspicuously scanning the room for a man. She then say’s, “Do you think more men will show up”? I reply, “I don’t know”. I get it, this is not “GNO” instead it’s “I Need to Find a Man Night Out” and she’s assuming I have the same agenda or simply to selfish to care that this is not why we were getting together.

I take another sip of my drink and try to catch-up with her life. Her eyes are wondering all over the place. Our conversation is continually interrupted with her making comments like “Did you see that guy?” or “I’m putting my purse on the seat next to me in case a cute comes in” or “let’s leave soon and go to … if more guys don’t come in”.

I excuse myself to use the restroom and when I return she is talking to some guy who came in while I was gone. I squeeze back into my chair because he is standing over her and ignoring me and my seat. They are flirting and I have become the third wheel BECAUSE I’M STAYING TRUE TO GNO! He leaves her once his dinner companions have arrived. She’s disappointed no numbers are exchanged. She goes back to texting the guy hoping he might be free soon.

She moves the conversation back to men. I’m done I’m out. She’s pissed because I’m ready to go home. You may think I’m a bitch for not going along with her desperate attempt in securing a date. However, had she told me this was “Find a Man Night Out” I could have stayed home and watch a Housewives re-run.

The bottom-line if my girlfriend meets a guy while we’re on GNO I’m happy for her. In fact I will get out of their way to talk to both of them. But, let it happen naturally don’t make the only mission of “GNO” is to find a guy.

“GNO” has an unspoken code. It’s not about texting your lover, boyfriend or husband all night; it’s not about desperately trying to meet a man; leaving your girlfriend and taking off with the guy; ignoring your girlfriend turning your back to her without trying to include her in the conversation; or talking your head off about men all night. It’s about Girls bonding with Girls and men are ancillary.

If you want to change the code then communicate with your girlfriend as to the kind of “GNO” you have in mind. Then she can decide if she wants to be your Wing Girl.

Make it an Excuse Free “GNO”!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 8, 2013|Category: Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement, Stress, Women 2 Comments »

Westboro Baptist Church Plans to Picket Sage Stallon’s Funeral

The idea of such an act is Anti-God, & Anti-Love. It lacks humanity, empathy and respect for this young man’s life. ABSOLUTELY SICKENING. If you don’t like his father you have a right to your feelings. But, DO NOT desecrate the right of his son to be laid to rest in peace. His life, like all life should be treated with dignity.

Westboro Baptist Church Plans To Picket Sage Stallone’s Funeral
www.huffingtonpost.com
Members of the Westboro Baptist Church have been called to picket actor Sage Stallone’s funeral.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on July 19, 2012|Category: Celebrity, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Grief & Loss, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Parenting, Politics, Religion, Stress, What the F...! 2 Comments »

The Death of Child is the Greatest Human Loss

I remember the first time I heard of Sly Stallone. I had just come from N.Y. to L.A.. My brother, Kevin took me to see Rocky I. I have seen it multiple times since then. At the time I was home sick for N.Y., so I kept a scrape book of Mr. Stallone, who reminded me of the neighborhood guys in Queens. I had such a crush.

Years later, My brother Darrin’s son, Anthony (my nephew) just a few weeks shy of his 3rd birthday would be killed in a car accident. His mother had been drinking and driving on a Sunday afternoon while my brother was at work. Instead, of securely fastened in his car seat. Anthony was in the front passenger seat with the window down. His mother had him hold a hot pizza on his lap and used a seat belt built made for an adult. As she sped around a center divider, the car rolled over and Anthony went out the window. If he had been in a car seat his head would have been protected and the doctors said he would have survived. It’s been 20 plus years since my nephew’s death. My brother grieves today as if it were yesterday.

The death of a child is the worst human emotional pain. Mr. Stallone is no stranger to the parental pain of having and raising children. His is child also a son diagnosed was diagnosed as Autistic and two out of his three daughters who were born with heart conditions requiring surgery as little ones (baby/toddler).

Those who lose their children regardless of their child’s age suffer for years in silence trying to go on with their lives. Just as my brother, Darrin. They may laugh and smile again but they will never be out of pain.

If you have a family member or friend never stop acknowledging them as parents on father’s day or mother’s day. Remind other family members to send a card, text, email or pick up the phone on important days to their child’s life. Give a hug on the memorial of the loss of their child or their child’s birthday. Offer to go and visit their child’s grave. Do something charitable no matter how small in their child’s name. Keep a framed picture up of their child.

No parent wants to feel their child has been forgotten no matter how many years pass. Even if they never speak of their loss these parents still know when someone speaks or behaves as if their child’s life had meaning. The greatest gift you can give a grieving parent is confirmation of remembrance and empathy for their feelings as a parent as they rebuild their lives for life.

These are a few of the life lessons my siblings and I have learned as coping strategies to always be there for our brother. When it comes to the children in our family we have come to an unspoken agreement. We put our subjective feelings of our parents, extended family and each other aside. That means putting the children and the role of parenting first and ahead of our own disputes, likes and dislikes of each other, and even during times when we are feuding or not speaking.

Trust me we are far from perfect. But, no matter whether or not we always like the brother who lost his child or his behavior his loss is also our loss and we will always remain supportive of him and his beautiful son our nephew, Little Mr. Sunshine.

There is no amount of money, fame or professional success that can heal the loss of a child. May Mr. Stallone and his son’s mother realize they and their family are not alone. God bless them all.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on July 19, 2012|Category: Celebrity, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Grief & Loss, Health, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Self Help, Self Improvement, Stress 2 Comments »