Archive for the ‘Self Esteem’ Category

Happy Women’s Day: Ten Reasons Why it’s Fabulous to Be a Woman

1. Prevention: We get the nuiances and details in life that lead to bigger consequences.

2. We are nuturing which supports men going out and fulfilling their dreams as a provider

3. We give the gift of life

4. We manage people in a decentralized style i.e. democratic thereby, creating a team effort rather than a Dictatorship leading to higher productivity and overall higher job satisfaction

5. We have beautiful bodies

6. We live longer

7. We have the freedom to express who we are through fashions, colors, designs. Which also means we can easily change our appearance allowing us to live out various fantasies and role play

8. There is nothing sweeter than a Mother’s love

9. We believe in communicating thereby problem solving occurs rather than lingering anger.

10. We have the ability to multi-task raising children, while running businesses and our home

Make it an Excuse Free Women’s Day!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 8, 2013|Category: Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Parenting, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement, Women No Comments »

Girls Night Out Means Girls Night Out!

I always look forward to “Girls Night Out” (“GNO”) it’s a chance to kick up my heels; laugh with a girlfriend or the girls, and catch-up. There appears to be one giant hiccup in enjoying GNO that has become a real pet peeve of mine: the constant search by single women to meet a guy or women who are in a relationship who need to know they’ve still got it.

Generally speaking “GNO” means one or more girls make a plan with each other, we call or text each other before meeting up “What are you wearing?” “Where should we go?” “I’m running late” all part of the build up of the “fun” evening ahead. Ah, the evening just begins when we make a toast and take our first sip of a Martini/Wine and begin to relax from our hectic day. We then begin to catch up. Well, that’s usually how it supposed to go.

But, all too many times the “GNO” becomes a time of frustration and anger, which I know I share with many women. Here is the scenario that I have experienced and that so many of you can instantly relate to.

My girlfriend and I grab two stools at the bar I’m looking at the menu and I turn to see that five minutes hasn’t passed and she’s texting some guy she recently met. This goes on throughout the evening. I let her know that her texting is getting annoying and if she is too busy I’m fine meeting up another time. She apologizes and puts down the phone at least momentarily pays attention to us. Ok, no big deal.

We begin talking again except her eyes don’t meet mine. She is less than inconspicuously scanning the room for a man. She then say’s, “Do you think more men will show up”? I reply, “I don’t know”. I get it, this is not “GNO” instead it’s “I Need to Find a Man Night Out” and she’s assuming I have the same agenda or simply to selfish to care that this is not why we were getting together.

I take another sip of my drink and try to catch-up with her life. Her eyes are wondering all over the place. Our conversation is continually interrupted with her making comments like “Did you see that guy?” or “I’m putting my purse on the seat next to me in case a cute comes in” or “let’s leave soon and go to … if more guys don’t come in”.

I excuse myself to use the restroom and when I return she is talking to some guy who came in while I was gone. I squeeze back into my chair because he is standing over her and ignoring me and my seat. They are flirting and I have become the third wheel BECAUSE I’M STAYING TRUE TO GNO! He leaves her once his dinner companions have arrived. She’s disappointed no numbers are exchanged. She goes back to texting the guy hoping he might be free soon.

She moves the conversation back to men. I’m done I’m out. She’s pissed because I’m ready to go home. You may think I’m a bitch for not going along with her desperate attempt in securing a date. However, had she told me this was “Find a Man Night Out” I could have stayed home and watch a Housewives re-run.

The bottom-line if my girlfriend meets a guy while we’re on GNO I’m happy for her. In fact I will get out of their way to talk to both of them. But, let it happen naturally don’t make the only mission of “GNO” is to find a guy.

“GNO” has an unspoken code. It’s not about texting your lover, boyfriend or husband all night; it’s not about desperately trying to meet a man; leaving your girlfriend and taking off with the guy; ignoring your girlfriend turning your back to her without trying to include her in the conversation; or talking your head off about men all night. It’s about Girls bonding with Girls and men are ancillary.

If you want to change the code then communicate with your girlfriend as to the kind of “GNO” you have in mind. Then she can decide if she wants to be your Wing Girl.

Make it an Excuse Free “GNO”!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 8, 2013|Category: Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement, Stress, Women 2 Comments »

“Reborn Dolls” Provide Comfort to Middle-Age Women

Over the years I have seen a variety of life like manufactured dolls. But, never have I heard of a doll that is indistinguishable from a real baby. In Australia it was reported that a police officer broke into a woman’s car believing a baby was left behind and unresponsive. As the story has been told, bystanders were also frightened that the baby was ill and in danger. All were shocked at the discovery that the “baby” was a “Reborn Doll”.

Reborn Dolls are vinyl dolls that are repurposed by manufacturers who employ re-doll artists to transform them into women’s dream babies.

I believe the best purpose for these dolls is to help people thinking about or getting ready for a new baby. Research has also shown that holding a baby has a hormonal calming affect particularly in women who suffer from anxiety (Not due to the loss of a real baby).

However, after watching a recent Today show piece featuring women who often own not one doll but several dolls in the various states of aging. One woman’s obsession was so extreme that she had acquired 16 Reborn Dolls and her husband built a nursery for them.

As I watched, I realized these women had one commonality they were all middle-aged. Many of these women were empty nesters, feared aging or denial of their feelings at the loss of their reproductive years. These women carry their dolls in baskets, car seats and baby carriages. They dress them and build their life around them.

If you see yourself as anyone of these women than seek the assistance of friends, family, psychotherapy or join a support group. You need to create new coping strategies and re-evaluate your relationship with yourself and your significant other. Go to counseling, travel or get a job but, get out of denial and embrace the transition to a new stage of your life.

Better than that spend your time and energy into volunteering at a hospital were real babies need to be held.

Baby boom: Lifelike ‘reborn dolls’ gain popularity
Video on American doll collectors are seeking out “reborns,” realistic baby dolls that come with birth or adoption certificates, and some are taking collecting to an extreme.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on April 7, 2012|Category: Career, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Health, Healthcare, Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Self Help, Social Media, Stress 2 Comments »

Part 2: Chris Brown’s Opportunity

What are getting lost in the big picture, though, are Chris’s humanity and the possibility of change and redemption. He is only twenty-two years old – still young and still learning. He has made unthinkably large mistakes – mistakes that have hurt others and hurt him self. But he still has the time and means to change his patterns.

Unfortunately for Chris, fame and fortune came much too soon. He was thrust into the limelight before he had the time or tools to come to terms with his past and to deal with his anger. Instead, he has to learn under the media and public’s watchful eye. What Chris needs is a steady hand; he needs to surround himself with positive role models in the industry who can challenge him to be a better person and help him identify the real priorities in his life. He needs to create coping strategies to manage his anger, and he needs to diligently be aware of his natural impulses. His anger can lessen over the years, but it won’t go away. With ongoing treatment, he will learn to distinguish when his anger is an appropriate response to a given situation and not a knee-jerk reaction.

In order for him to mature and to have any sort of healthy relationship – whether that is with friends or with a significant other, he must learn to manage his emotions and distinguish between what reactions are justifiable and what is governed by impulse.

Moreover, as entertainment news does indeed report, Rihanna and Chris are on speaking terms again. This is a private matter on any scale, but it does have public repercussions. There are many young girls and boys who look up to and admire both Rihanna and Chris. The message both Chris and Rihanna are sending by Rihanna singing on his record, their fans – including these many young, easily influenced children – begin to see acts such as domestic violence as “not serious” and “easily dismissed.” There is no shortage of great talent in the music industry to do this record now shows a lack of good judgment not only on their part but, on their managers and producers parts as well.

The big story the media is missing is not the Grammy’s, or even a young celebrity’s crazy temperament, but instead the importance of individuals coping with their pain. Chris Brown might be a celebrity, yes, but he’s also just another human being who needs guidance. His is a very public lesson for everyone who has a past, who has emotional reactions, and who needs to learn how to deal with them.

Whether you externalize your pain – like Chris – or internalize it – like me – it can cause severe damage to you and those around you. But if you’re willing to confront these problems head on, you can begin to lead a life that isn’t dominated by anger and pain. You can one day take the proverbial stage, receive applause, and know it’s well deserved.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 1, 2012|Category: Career, Celebrity, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Relationships, Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement No Comments »