Archive for the ‘Health’ Category

The Death of Child is the Greatest Human Loss

I remember the first time I heard of Sly Stallone. I had just come from N.Y. to L.A.. My brother, Kevin took me to see Rocky I. I have seen it multiple times since then. At the time I was home sick for N.Y., so I kept a scrape book of Mr. Stallone, who reminded me of the neighborhood guys in Queens. I had such a crush.

Years later, My brother Darrin’s son, Anthony (my nephew) just a few weeks shy of his 3rd birthday would be killed in a car accident. His mother had been drinking and driving on a Sunday afternoon while my brother was at work. Instead, of securely fastened in his car seat. Anthony was in the front passenger seat with the window down. His mother had him hold a hot pizza on his lap and used a seat belt built made for an adult. As she sped around a center divider, the car rolled over and Anthony went out the window. If he had been in a car seat his head would have been protected and the doctors said he would have survived. It’s been 20 plus years since my nephew’s death. My brother grieves today as if it were yesterday.

The death of a child is the worst human emotional pain. Mr. Stallone is no stranger to the parental pain of having and raising children. His is child also a son diagnosed was diagnosed as Autistic and two out of his three daughters who were born with heart conditions requiring surgery as little ones (baby/toddler).

Those who lose their children regardless of their child’s age suffer for years in silence trying to go on with their lives. Just as my brother, Darrin. They may laugh and smile again but they will never be out of pain.

If you have a family member or friend never stop acknowledging them as parents on father’s day or mother’s day. Remind other family members to send a card, text, email or pick up the phone on important days to their child’s life. Give a hug on the memorial of the loss of their child or their child’s birthday. Offer to go and visit their child’s grave. Do something charitable no matter how small in their child’s name. Keep a framed picture up of their child.

No parent wants to feel their child has been forgotten no matter how many years pass. Even if they never speak of their loss these parents still know when someone speaks or behaves as if their child’s life had meaning. The greatest gift you can give a grieving parent is confirmation of remembrance and empathy for their feelings as a parent as they rebuild their lives for life.

These are a few of the life lessons my siblings and I have learned as coping strategies to always be there for our brother. When it comes to the children in our family we have come to an unspoken agreement. We put our subjective feelings of our parents, extended family and each other aside. That means putting the children and the role of parenting first and ahead of our own disputes, likes and dislikes of each other, and even during times when we are feuding or not speaking.

Trust me we are far from perfect. But, no matter whether or not we always like the brother who lost his child or his behavior his loss is also our loss and we will always remain supportive of him and his beautiful son our nephew, Little Mr. Sunshine.

There is no amount of money, fame or professional success that can heal the loss of a child. May Mr. Stallone and his son’s mother realize they and their family are not alone. God bless them all.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on July 19, 2012|Category: Celebrity, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Grief & Loss, Health, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Self Help, Self Improvement, Stress 2 Comments »

“Reborn Dolls” Provide Comfort to Middle-Age Women

Over the years I have seen a variety of life like manufactured dolls. But, never have I heard of a doll that is indistinguishable from a real baby. In Australia it was reported that a police officer broke into a woman’s car believing a baby was left behind and unresponsive. As the story has been told, bystanders were also frightened that the baby was ill and in danger. All were shocked at the discovery that the “baby” was a “Reborn Doll”.

Reborn Dolls are vinyl dolls that are repurposed by manufacturers who employ re-doll artists to transform them into women’s dream babies.

I believe the best purpose for these dolls is to help people thinking about or getting ready for a new baby. Research has also shown that holding a baby has a hormonal calming affect particularly in women who suffer from anxiety (Not due to the loss of a real baby).

However, after watching a recent Today show piece featuring women who often own not one doll but several dolls in the various states of aging. One woman’s obsession was so extreme that she had acquired 16 Reborn Dolls and her husband built a nursery for them.

As I watched, I realized these women had one commonality they were all middle-aged. Many of these women were empty nesters, feared aging or denial of their feelings at the loss of their reproductive years. These women carry their dolls in baskets, car seats and baby carriages. They dress them and build their life around them.

If you see yourself as anyone of these women than seek the assistance of friends, family, psychotherapy or join a support group. You need to create new coping strategies and re-evaluate your relationship with yourself and your significant other. Go to counseling, travel or get a job but, get out of denial and embrace the transition to a new stage of your life.

Better than that spend your time and energy into volunteering at a hospital were real babies need to be held.

Baby boom: Lifelike ‘reborn dolls’ gain popularity
Video on American doll collectors are seeking out “reborns,” realistic baby dolls that come with birth or adoption certificates, and some are taking collecting to an extreme.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on April 7, 2012|Category: Career, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Health, Healthcare, Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Self Help, Social Media, Stress 2 Comments »

Facebook Fan Harvey Trent 2nd Response: Yell Fire


Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on April 7, 2012|Category: Books, Crisis, Economy, Education, Election, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Health, Healthcare, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Politics, Race, Self Improvement, Social Media, Stress, Uncategorized No Comments »

My Response to Facebook Fan Trent Harvey: Don’t Assume Someone Else Will Take Care of It

You’re preaching to the choir. I have 10 years of experience in Crisis Intervention Homicide/Suicide check out my bio. Zimmerman, the shooter was known to the community as a neighborhood watch guy. I doubt know one new who he was when he was chasing and bullying Trayvon. Zimmerman sits in his car regularly patrolling the gated community believe people know him otherwise he’d look like some pervert spying on everyone.

I am not saying be an idiot and don’t take precautions. But, this is a case someone may have at least tried to step up. Maybe, I have a different experience having grown up in foster care, mixed race and on Welfare. I grew were you don’t just close the blinds when something is happening in the moment. I’m a street kid from NY. I have 3 brothers and I have asked each one what would they have done they all said they would go check out what is happening when someone is screaming help. I did not say jump in and try to be a hero.

However, too many people are afraid of conflict, confrontation or just don’t want to be bothered. On the show, “What would you do?” 100 people stepped over a man in the middle of the sidewalk. An elderly woman who was a stranger to the man kept pleading for someone to help the man. Finally, a woman stopped and asked what was going on. It was as simple as a cell phone call to 911 for the man to go to the hospital. My point is it doesn’t have to be as extreme as the murder of Trayvon but if someone is yelling help don’t assume someone else will take care of it.

I don’t expect all people to have courage under fire. Absolutely, we are all human. But, I think it’s time to at least have a dialogue. More people need to realize they are not automatic victims or keep their head down. This affects people in all areas of their lives. I am not trying to be righteous or machisma I am asking people to be more thoughtful of others and help where they can.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on April 7, 2012|Category: Books, Crisis, Economy, Education, Election, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Health, Healthcare, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Politics, Race, Self Improvement, Social Media, Stress No Comments »