Archive for the ‘Mental Health’ Category

Prevention & Gratitude Working Together Can Save Lives: An Excuse Free Case

http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Plot-Cannibal-Cop-Verdict-Trial–196429351.html

The article above for me is not about the sensationalism of the so-called, ‘Plot-Cannibal-Cop’ but, the prevention of the murder, rape & kidnaping of innocent lives.

During my years working as a Crisis Intervention Specialist, Police assistance in some cases was absolutely necessary. However, growing up with irresponsible parents made me hyper-responsible. Since I was little one of my favorite sayings has been, “Lee me lone”. The result, part of my self-confidence is intrinsically connected to my ability to realize, “no one is the boss of me” and I’m not speaking about work.

The point? Although, I believe in following the Law, I do not like authority.

No matter where you live in this beautiful country law enforcement, and the Justice system need morale building and positive acknowledgement. If we want worthy individuals to serve and stay in law enforcement we must do our part to encourage them rather than blame them.

We need the media and our own conversations to be more fairly balanced. Public acknowledgement contributes to a positive work incentive to prevent crime before it happens. Do I like the idea of being policed? As I said before, “No” but, I respect that it is a necessary part of our society and we must provide positive emotional support for law enforcement not just when an officer or civil servant is killed but, when they do an outstanding job.

Thank you NYC Police Dept., FBI & Justice System for one of many examples that the system can work beginning with a keen eye for prevention. A nod, thank you or smile goes along way in law enforcements day when they mostly hear complaints and experience fear and in some cases loathing by the media and public.

Make it an Excuse Free Life!!!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 15, 2013|Category: Career, Crime, Crisis, Education, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Politics, Self Improvement, Social Media, Stress No Comments »

Girls Night Out Means Girls Night Out!

I always look forward to “Girls Night Out” (“GNO”) it’s a chance to kick up my heels; laugh with a girlfriend or the girls, and catch-up. There appears to be one giant hiccup in enjoying GNO that has become a real pet peeve of mine: the constant search by single women to meet a guy or women who are in a relationship who need to know they’ve still got it.

Generally speaking “GNO” means one or more girls make a plan with each other, we call or text each other before meeting up “What are you wearing?” “Where should we go?” “I’m running late” all part of the build up of the “fun” evening ahead. Ah, the evening just begins when we make a toast and take our first sip of a Martini/Wine and begin to relax from our hectic day. We then begin to catch up. Well, that’s usually how it supposed to go.

But, all too many times the “GNO” becomes a time of frustration and anger, which I know I share with many women. Here is the scenario that I have experienced and that so many of you can instantly relate to.

My girlfriend and I grab two stools at the bar I’m looking at the menu and I turn to see that five minutes hasn’t passed and she’s texting some guy she recently met. This goes on throughout the evening. I let her know that her texting is getting annoying and if she is too busy I’m fine meeting up another time. She apologizes and puts down the phone at least momentarily pays attention to us. Ok, no big deal.

We begin talking again except her eyes don’t meet mine. She is less than inconspicuously scanning the room for a man. She then say’s, “Do you think more men will show up”? I reply, “I don’t know”. I get it, this is not “GNO” instead it’s “I Need to Find a Man Night Out” and she’s assuming I have the same agenda or simply to selfish to care that this is not why we were getting together.

I take another sip of my drink and try to catch-up with her life. Her eyes are wondering all over the place. Our conversation is continually interrupted with her making comments like “Did you see that guy?” or “I’m putting my purse on the seat next to me in case a cute comes in” or “let’s leave soon and go to … if more guys don’t come in”.

I excuse myself to use the restroom and when I return she is talking to some guy who came in while I was gone. I squeeze back into my chair because he is standing over her and ignoring me and my seat. They are flirting and I have become the third wheel BECAUSE I’M STAYING TRUE TO GNO! He leaves her once his dinner companions have arrived. She’s disappointed no numbers are exchanged. She goes back to texting the guy hoping he might be free soon.

She moves the conversation back to men. I’m done I’m out. She’s pissed because I’m ready to go home. You may think I’m a bitch for not going along with her desperate attempt in securing a date. However, had she told me this was “Find a Man Night Out” I could have stayed home and watch a Housewives re-run.

The bottom-line if my girlfriend meets a guy while we’re on GNO I’m happy for her. In fact I will get out of their way to talk to both of them. But, let it happen naturally don’t make the only mission of “GNO” is to find a guy.

“GNO” has an unspoken code. It’s not about texting your lover, boyfriend or husband all night; it’s not about desperately trying to meet a man; leaving your girlfriend and taking off with the guy; ignoring your girlfriend turning your back to her without trying to include her in the conversation; or talking your head off about men all night. It’s about Girls bonding with Girls and men are ancillary.

If you want to change the code then communicate with your girlfriend as to the kind of “GNO” you have in mind. Then she can decide if she wants to be your Wing Girl.

Make it an Excuse Free “GNO”!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 8, 2013|Category: Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement, Stress, Women 2 Comments »

Jodi Arias Claims Self-Defense After Stabbing Ex-boyfriend 27 times, Shooting Him in the Head and Mutilating his Body

Jodi Arias’s claims she killed her Ex-boyfriend, Alexander in self-defense. Jodi’s trial is underway and after reading the evidence thus far produced in this case, she makes Casey Anthony look innocent and that’s hard to do. There are so many holes in her alibi a spagetti strainer is now a cutting board. Here is the most recent update to her incredible animalistic and horrifying murderous act. I say, “Convict, Convict, Convict!” with Zero Chance for Parole. See what you think below:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/gruesome-crime-scene-revealed-jodi-arias-murder-trial-article-1.1234824

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on January 7, 2013|Category: Crime, Crisis, Excuse Free Living, Family & Relationships, Grief & Loss, Mental Health, Sex, What the F...! No Comments »

The Most Precious Gift to Your Child at the Holidays: QUALITY TIME

Time a four-letter word. Looks so simple. Sounds so simple. Yet, how many Excuses do you make to spend quality time with your child?

I did not spend a lot of physical time with my father growing up. By the time I was eighteen he died during my midterms in my first semester of college. There was no opportunity to say, “goodbye”.

The last time I spoke with him I was at school begging the Administration to use their phone to call New York. I was in California and had no money to use the payphone to call the hospital long distance. “My father is dying in New York”. I pleaded crying, “Let me use the phone”.

That would be my last conversation with him standing in front of a group of strangers while I listened to my father crying begging “God” to release him from his pain. It was as if lightening struck me. My father had always been an Atheist; unusual at the time for a Black man but conformity was not his nature.

As a young girl my father, Stacy Seppinni made sure that every visit with me was focused on me. I quite often sat on his lap until he would request for me to show him my latest dance moves. I played with his glasses, watch and hands. He allowed me to be close to him. He made sure that my time with him was spent without the interruption of my three older brothers. Our time was quality time.

While in prison (from the time I was two until just before my seventh birthday) he wrote me letters, called, wrote me a poem for each one of my Birthdays and sent gifts other prisoners made just for me– a portrait of me, hand carved jewelry boxes with my name and leather goods were just a few of the items.

We spent our time fishing on Sunday’s when I was 7-8 years old. He’d make me Cream of Wheat (my favorite at the time) or Oatmeal at 4 AM in morning. This was the time he used to sit and read the paper and talk to me about the happenings at my school. On weekends when he was home we went to the Metropolitan Museum in New York. We’d stop in front of his favorite paintings discussing the artist. He enjoyed taking me to the park. He’d sit and read the paper while watching me play. I especially enjoyed when he took me to Central Park to see Patty the Monkey.

He loved to read so I was lucky to be around all of his books, which I kept for years because they were a part of him. Most of all he held my hand wherever we went and took great pride in having a little girl. I loved the way he smelled so any chance of cuddling next to him when lied down (when sober) was heaven as he put his arm around me as he watched T.V. Often he would fall asleep during the program gently I would open his eyes and announce “Poppy your a sleep!”. “No, Baby” he would say, “I’m just resting my eyes”.

When my mother moved my brothers and I to California my father decided to stay in New York. I spent years not living with my father but, to me he was there everyday. It was because we spoke almost every day on the phone. Throughout my life he took every collect call from me especially when I cried because I missed him or simply needed to tell someone how I really felt about my world–other kids, the move to California, my interests and so forth.

My father was a terrible man domestic violence, murder, gambling, drug addiction, extreme violent episodes with my brothers and so on…

Now as an adult I realize he gave me one of the greatest gifts a child can receive he created quality time with me. He was fully engaged in creating a parent – child intimacy and trust between us. He took the time to share the best part of him. He did this throughout his years of absence through his endless conversations with me ending all with “I love you with all my heart”. Our quality of time became part of the foundation of how I love and chose to be loved.

If we can all learn in times of tragedy as in the loss of twenty children in Sandy Hook school it is not only to remember to hug your child but, to spend quality time, listen well and express your love. Guilt and regret are harder to live with than the process of grief and loss. Guilt and regret lead to a lifetime of self-hatred, feelings of failure and a refusal to forgive oneself.

It’s been many years since my father passed and yet, I think of him daily. I still speak to him daily in my mind. He visits me in my dreams when I accomplish something I’m truly passionate about letting me know he is still with me and therefore I am never alone. My father continues to live on in my heart.

As I tell him all the time “Dad, Pop please behave yourself in hell, stop womanizing, put down the bottle, and be nice to others. You need to behave so that you can meet me in heaven when it’s my time to go”.

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on December 16, 2012|Category: Books, Crisis, Excuse Free Living, Family & Parenting, Family & Relationships, Grief & Loss, Holidays, Life Coaching, Mental Health, Parenting, Self Improvement No Comments »