Girls Night Out Means Girls Night Out!

I always look forward to “Girls Night Out” (“GNO”) it’s a chance to kick up my heels; laugh with a girlfriend or the girls, and catch-up. There appears to be one giant hiccup in enjoying GNO that has become a real pet peeve of mine: the constant search by single women to meet a guy or women who are in a relationship who need to know they’ve still got it.

Generally speaking “GNO” means one or more girls make a plan with each other, we call or text each other before meeting up “What are you wearing?” “Where should we go?” “I’m running late” all part of the build up of the “fun” evening ahead. Ah, the evening just begins when we make a toast and take our first sip of a Martini/Wine and begin to relax from our hectic day. We then begin to catch up. Well, that’s usually how it supposed to go.

But, all too many times the “GNO” becomes a time of frustration and anger, which I know I share with many women. Here is the scenario that I have experienced and that so many of you can instantly relate to.

My girlfriend and I grab two stools at the bar I’m looking at the menu and I turn to see that five minutes hasn’t passed and she’s texting some guy she recently met. This goes on throughout the evening. I let her know that her texting is getting annoying and if she is too busy I’m fine meeting up another time. She apologizes and puts down the phone at least momentarily pays attention to us. Ok, no big deal.

We begin talking again except her eyes don’t meet mine. She is less than inconspicuously scanning the room for a man. She then say’s, “Do you think more men will show up”? I reply, “I don’t know”. I get it, this is not “GNO” instead it’s “I Need to Find a Man Night Out” and she’s assuming I have the same agenda or simply to selfish to care that this is not why we were getting together.

I take another sip of my drink and try to catch-up with her life. Her eyes are wondering all over the place. Our conversation is continually interrupted with her making comments like “Did you see that guy?” or “I’m putting my purse on the seat next to me in case a cute comes in” or “let’s leave soon and go to … if more guys don’t come in”.

I excuse myself to use the restroom and when I return she is talking to some guy who came in while I was gone. I squeeze back into my chair because he is standing over her and ignoring me and my seat. They are flirting and I have become the third wheel BECAUSE I’M STAYING TRUE TO GNO! He leaves her once his dinner companions have arrived. She’s disappointed no numbers are exchanged. She goes back to texting the guy hoping he might be free soon.

She moves the conversation back to men. I’m done I’m out. She’s pissed because I’m ready to go home. You may think I’m a bitch for not going along with her desperate attempt in securing a date. However, had she told me this was “Find a Man Night Out” I could have stayed home and watch a Housewives re-run.

The bottom-line if my girlfriend meets a guy while we’re on GNO I’m happy for her. In fact I will get out of their way to talk to both of them. But, let it happen naturally don’t make the only mission of “GNO” is to find a guy.

“GNO” has an unspoken code. It’s not about texting your lover, boyfriend or husband all night; it’s not about desperately trying to meet a man; leaving your girlfriend and taking off with the guy; ignoring your girlfriend turning your back to her without trying to include her in the conversation; or talking your head off about men all night. It’s about Girls bonding with Girls and men are ancillary.

If you want to change the code then communicate with your girlfriend as to the kind of “GNO” you have in mind. Then she can decide if she wants to be your Wing Girl.

Make it an Excuse Free “GNO”!

Posted by Dr. Leslie Seppinni on March 8, 2013 Category:Life Coaching, Love & Relationships, Mental Health, Self Esteem, Self Help, Self Improvement, Stress, Women

2 Responses to “Girls Night Out Means Girls Night Out!”

  1. Ray Says:

    My thoughts exactly! I’m going to be forwarding this, definitely.

  2. Dr. Leslie Seppinni Says:

    Thank you! Happy to hear this resonates with you. Best wishes, Dr. L

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